Today’s post is brought to you by The Daily Post from a few days ago. People always talk about the things they want to do before they die, or turn 30, or 40, or whatever. As someone who has traveled the world and done some pretty bucket listy things so far in my not-so-long life, I found this post to be a great challenge. I decided to take this question seriously instead of being snarky, so it won’t turn into a tirade against Taylor Swift, so here goes:
There are three items at the top of my “anti-bucket list” — first, the thing I never, ever want to do is go bungee jumping, next, the book I never, ever want to read is Atlas Shrugged, and finally the place I never, ever want to go is to a professional (or college) football game.
First of all, I am not the biggest fan of heights. I have spent my life trying to combat that fear by pushing myself to do things that take me out of my comfort zone like rock climbing, hiking up big mountains, navigating crazy tall ropes courses, walking on wobbly bridges, going up ladders, etc. But there is one thing that I will never, ever, ever, ever voluntarily do and that is go bungee jumping. I know many of you may have done it or have it down as something you would want to do, but you won’t see me there. No way. No, sir! The thought of being jerked around at the end of a rope makes my neck throb and my brains rattle. I’ve done plenty of awesome, scary, fun, risky, and adventurous things in my life, and I hope to do many more before I die, but dangling from a rope off a bridge or something is not one of them.
Next, I am a book addict and now that my boyfriend works at Random House, he has become my dealer. And I know I shouldn’t judge a Atlas Shrugged by its cover, so I will judge it by its author, and its biggest fans. Basically, Ayn Rand was kind of the WORST. I’ve seen her interviews and read about her, and the more I learn about who she was and what she really believed, the less I want to read the stuff she wrote. Let me point out that I love dystopian fiction and in spite of the fact that Wikipedia describes the book as a mix of “science fiction, mystery, and romance” – three elements in a book I usually very much enjoy, I know that I will never be able to stomach the load of cow manure that is wrapped inside that pretty packaging. And some may judge a work on its ability to influence great minds, but in this case, it has truly influenced great asses. The fact that some of her biggest fans are Glenn Beck, Paul Ryan, and Rush Limbaugh, I cannot abide!
Comedian John Rogers sums up my own humble opinion in his blog:
“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year-old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
I’ll stick with Tolkien. Ayn Rand can go to her own dystopian hell.
Finally, the foosball. I hate it. Sorry to all of you real A-mur-i-cans who love it, nothing personal, but I hate it. Always have, always will. (*side note—I do love The League.) During my four years at a high school in the Deep South, there were two major building projects that affected the student population. The first was the new football stadium and the second was the new auditorium. As president of the drama club and the chorus, you can guess which one was more important to me. Yes, I was the girl who skipped the pep rallies and pretended to have my period every week in gym class. I hated the athletics department unilaterally. So, the time came for the stadium to be build. It was done in three months, in time for the football season and it was state of the art. Big whoop, right? Do you know how long it took for the auditorium to be completed? THREE YEARS!! It wasn’t until my junior year that I could have a decent performance space at my school. We were promised it would be completed in my freshman year and it took them two more years!! Why?? Because all the money and effort was going into the sports teams and away from the arts!! (*side note—my favorite movie at the time was Mr. Holland’s Opus. duh.) Am I still bitter? Not only will I NEVER go to a football game including professional, college, or high school, I can’t even watch Friday Night Lights!
So there it is—my anti-bucket list.
So, what is yours? It could be anything that you never, ever want to do, places you never want to visit, books you never want to read, etc.?
Please share in the comments below.
Thanks for musing along with me.